List #6: Every RPGMaker Game I’ve Played Ranked

 Greetings everyone. Today I’m ranking every RPGMaker game I’ve played. Most are not good. This’ll be fun. If anyone who reads this has a game they think I should play, feel free to suggest it! 

25. The Hero of Dreegom 

Link: https://rpgmaker.net/games/10236/ 

Quite frankly, I don’t know why I downloaded this. It seemed well made (kinda), but it also didn’t appear to be finished. If it was done, I’m sure it would be higher, but it wasn’t, so what are you gonna do? Not play it, that’s what (unless you want to). 

UPDATE: I recently realized I downloaded two games at once, the Quest of Dude and the Hero of Dreegom, but only played Dude. And then got Quest of Dude mixed up with HoD. Well frick.

24. The Blinding of the Light 

Link: https://itch.io/jam/rpgmaker1hour2/rate/340732

It’s fine, but it’s abysmally short. Like, 5 minutes short. But this is to be expected, as it was made for a 1 hour game jam. Still, I commend them for making it in an hour, and the game itself is well made. Just very, very short. 

23. The Legend of Tango 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/394720/The_Legend_of_Tango/ 

Steam Score: Mixed 

In terms of gameplay: fine, but pretty easy. But for some reason, it never shuts up about Tango Fiesta, which, according to its steam score (Mixed), ISN’T EVEN GOOD!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I’m just very upset. Otherwise, it’s a fine RPG. Okay writing with a couple of funny moments, but once again, it’s very short. 

22. Space Funeral 4: The Parmingulator 

Link: https://gamejolt.com/games/Parmingulator/280101

Our first Space Funeral game on this list, and it sure is something. I don’t know how this ties into Space Funeral, but it follows Fred and Fart Butt as they go on a mystical quest to do... something. From what I played, there’s one battle, and for the rest of the enemies, you just touch them and they die. Thrilling. This one is at least ironically funny. 

21. Advent 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/371370/Advent/

Steam Score: Mixed 

There’s somehow two Christianity-themed games on this list and one does it way better (this is not the good one). Advent is a bland, poorly-written, annoyingly-balanced game that is still somehow better than the previous 4. It has a generic story that is (somehow) tied with Christianity, but it’s just a generic war story. There’s quite literally nothing in this game to set it apart from other, better games. Skip. 

20. Crown of Chaos 

Link: https://scwarfbandito.itch.io/crown-of-chaos-demo

I genuinely don’t know what to think with this one. On one hand, it’s much better balanced than everything else so far, and the writing is fine, if a bit bland. On the other hand, it really does NOT know what the plot is. It starts out following these guys named Red and Saphire (that’s how they spell it) going out to do... something? It probably has something to do with the Crown of Chaos, I don’t fricking know. But then, near the end of the game, you become a new character in real life (?) and have an extremely vague conversation with your (friend?). I don’t know what happens in this game, but at least it’s an actual game! 

19. Great Utopia 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1220990/Great_Utopia/

Steam Score: Mixed 

The very definition of mediocre. I don’t even remember the plot, but it’s fine. Play it if you REALLY want an RPGMaker game and you’ve played all the good ones, but otherwise, just don’t. Also, I still don’t know what the title means. 

18. Space Funeral 5: Journey of the Moon and Bubsy 

Link: https://gamejolt.com/games/space-funeral-5-space-eulogy-journey-of-the-moon-bubsy/89510

What a title! This is our second Space Funeral game and it still completely fails to capture the spirit of the original trilogy. You play as Moon, the antagonist of the original, alongside Bubsy (I think), trying to sure do something. I don’t remember what. This game has a few funny moments, but I don’t think it’s that great. 

17. Space Funeral 2 

Link: https://gamejolt.com/games/space-funeral-2/10070

This is the first game I genuinely like on the list. It’s very short, like 5 minutes if you know what you’re doing, but it’s very well-written and well-made all around. Check this out if you enjoyed Space Funeral. It’s good. 

16. Suits: Absolute Power 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1210230/Suits_Absolute_Power/

Steam Score: Very Positive 

Price: $5 

I genuinely don’t know how to feel about this game. I absolutely LOVE the art and writing, and the gameplay is fairly intuitive. Only issue is: the balancing is absolutely godawful. This is very possibly the most unfair game I’ve ever played. Nearly all of the bosses are way too tough, and the freaking CEO Bot makes me die inside. Oddly enough though, no one else is complaining about the difficulty, so maybe I just did something wrong. No clue. 

UPDATE: I recently replayed this and the difficulty was fine, so idk what happened originally. I definitely recommend it now!

15. Hylics 2 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1286710/Hylics_2/

Steam Score: Overwhelmingly Positive 

Price: $15 

This one is better than Suits: Absolute Power, but not by much. Once again, it has AMAZING art and great writing, and the enemy balance seems pretty good, but the platforming suuuuucks. Like, so much that it’s unplayable. Nitro Rad made a comparison between this game’s platforming and climbing a mountain in Skyrim, and I don’t think I could make a better analogy. 

14. The Benza RPG 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1449370/The_Benza_RPG/

Steam Score: Positive 

This game is fine. I’ve never seen the Benza because, y’know, Japanese, but this game makes me really want to because it’s got hilarious writing. Issue is, the gameplay isn’t very interesting. It’s basically the most generic RPG ever. Maybe just watch a playthrough on YouTube to see the writing without playing it. 

13. Home 

Link: https://rpgmaker.net/games/6361/

Home is an Off fangame that mostly fails to recapture the spirit of Off. That’s about all I have to say. I would say to play it if you absolutely loved Off, but I played it and I didn’t love it. Reason it’s above most of these other games is because it obviously had much more effort put into it than most other stuff on here. 

12. Baby Jesus Christ RPG 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/449040/Jesus_Christ_RPG_Trilogy/

Steam Score: Very Positive 

Much better than the book. Baby Jesus Christ RPG is a game where you play as Mary, Joseph, and Jesus as they face various trials. It’s pretty fun and has a lot of good humor, but the final boss is way too tough. Play it until the fight against Herod for a great little game! 

11. Retrobound 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1330010/RetroBound/

Steam Score: Overwhelmingly Positive 

Price: $1 

A great little RPG! My only real gripe is that there’s a few too many enemies that you have to fight, but otherwise, great! Play it! It’s ridiculously cheap! 

10. Quest Questers 

Link: https://rpgmaker.net/games/9547/

I love this game. It’s got a great visual style, great writing, great gameplay, all-around great! Plus, it’s pretty long for an RPGMaker game. Once again, only gripe is that it gets a little too tough around the end. Otherwise, amazing game! 

9. Oh RPG 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/421810/OH_RPG/

Steam Score: Mixed 

Price: $3 

This is the first entry on this list that I think doesn’t deserve the mixed score. To be honest, you could practically copy-paste my review of Quest Questers onto this one. Great until the end, where it gets VERY unfair. I would highly recommend this one! 

8. Space Funeral: The Legend of Earth Birth 

Link: https://www.myabandonware.com/game/space-funeral-3-djm

A great game, if not as good as the original. My only issue is that the humor feels less surreal and more like: “MeMeS!!1!1!1!1!1!1!!1” which works fine sometimes, but doesn’t really fit Space Funeral. But come on, you get to play as Dracula! 

7. Hylics 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/397740/Hylics/

Steam Score: Overwhelmingly Positive 

Price: $3 

An amazing and amazingly surreal claymation RPG. It even has randomly-generated writing, for some reason. I really like this game, and it’s even well-balanced, unlike most games on this list! Go play this one! 

6. Yume Nikki 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/650700/Yume_Nikki/

Steam Score: Very Positive 

An amazingly strange game. You play as a shut-in named Madotsuki who has nightmarish dreams. Easily the freakiest game on the list, but also relaxing at some points. It’s not for everyone, but it’s great! 

5. Space Funeral 

Link: https://gamejolt.com/games/space-funeral/3492

This game is amazing. Just go play it. I won’t spoil literally anything about it. Only complaint is that it’s pathetically easy, but it’s still fantastic. 

4. Grimm’s Hollow 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1170880/Grimms_Hollow/

Steam Score: Overwhelmingly Positive 

Holy friggin’ crap. This game is amazing. It’s also extraordinarily depressing, so there’s that. Once again, just go play it. It’s so freaking good. Gameplay’s good too, and surprisingly unique. Just play it. 

3. Suits 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/410670/Suits_A_Business_RPG/ 

Steam Score: Very Positive 

Price: $1 

Absolutely hilarious and a great game all the way through. I don’t know what to say for a lot of these bottom ones, it’s just great. Plus, it’s mega-cheap, so go buy it now (unless you don’t want to). 

2. Omori 

Link: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1150690/OMORI/

Price: $20 

Steam Score: Overwhelmingly Positive 

The price may seem a little steep, but trust me, it’s not. This game is ridiculously long for an RPGMaker game, and it’s got amazing writing and gameplay. Also, for the love of god, don’t spoil this game for yourself. That completely devalues the experience. 

1. Off 

Link: https://rpgmaker.net/games/6697/

Holy crap. This may legitimately be my favorite game. It’s so well-written, the puzzles are very well-made, the story is outright amazing, and everything about it is just great. Please play it. Please.